I want you to have this..

But.. it's your purple shirt

I have another.. just take this one. Okay?

I took my boyfriend to the airport yesterday, and it had to be one

of the hardest things I've ever had to do.
I waited in line with him as he got his tickets to go back home,
and I had to hold in all my tears and stop myself from freaking out.
My dad, my sister and I walked him to his gate, and then we hugged
and kissed. My boyfriend went into his line but my dad told me to go

hug him and kiss him again and as I did, I started to cry harder. Then I had to walk away. My dad kept me calm all through the airport.

As we drove home, I watched the airport and cried harder because I knew he was standing in there.

Everything reminds me of him.
Everything.

We plan on meeting again, but it's so hard to actually imagine that he's gone.
I feel empty, and so confused and lost without him.

My dad keeps making sure I'm alright. I went out to the tent where my boy and I slept pretty much the whole time he was here, and my dad came outside and talked me to.
 

Day one -

We picked Phil up from the airport, and he was wearing this striped like black shirt, with faded blue jeans, a belt, his headphones and he was carrying his little bag. My sister told me to stand up, and I did and I waved at him.

He shook hands with my dad, and then we both hugged hard and he gathered his bags. As we were walking up to the other floor, he looked at me and I looked at him and we both kissed each other. When we got to the elevators, we made out and he laughed saying "Well I guess we just made out" 

So during the whole ride home (which was a traffic jam pretty much so it took forever) we made out and cuddled

We got home, and we dropped off his stuff then him and I went on a walk. We were walking up to the liberary, when we stopped to kiss which turned out into making out, and my best friends happened to drive by and honked on the horn. So we walked up to the libary path and he went pee in some bushes - then just as we were about to go across the street my friends pull up into the libary parking lot and picked us up.

We gave him a tour of Vancouver/Camas.

We went to Amanda's house - hung out a bit there then decided that we should go out to eat for Amanda's b-day (which was also the day Phil arrived - July 9th) so Phil and I walked back to my house but we sat on a curb and cuddled and kissed each other. Amanda yelled "STOP MAKING OUT!" out her house window.

We waited until 7 and they picked us up and we went out to eat at Red Lobster.

moar later
 

 

dear you 

you are the sunshine on my cloudy days,
the clouds that cool down warm days,
the frist day of every season,
the cold winter that bites my fingertips, 

everything

Like you can' breath?
Like your friends will stab your back?
Like your tired of everything and I mean everything?
Like you'll choke on something stupid?
Like you'll drowned in your self pity.

Heavy hearts, on worn shoulders.
Bone crushing love with splintering trees.
Heavy feet touching soft ground, with soft whispers
back in forth between best friends.
Oh how we've sung such sarrows of songs.
Oh how we've spung lies back and forth between tired fingers.
How we've totally destroyed everything expect for hate.
Our ears so filled with lies, we can't hear the truth.
The winds blowing so hard, we can't stand on our own and need
help.
How the waves came crashing down and everything was dragged
out to sea expect for you and me.
I just stand here, with a mouth full of regrets and words
that pirced ears of young childern.
Nothing is set straight.